Dear Bella
by Call me Mrs. Meraz
Summary: AU-After the wedding Bella is immediatly changed and they go to Dartmouth? Close to Angela, what happens when she gets a letter from her old friend who has an unexpected inside connection to her old life and the pack? As she becomes the only link to her past, will Angela make her realize she made the wrong choice? Will her life be an eternity of regret or will she find happiness?
1. Prologue

_(Full Summary)_

What if after the honeymoon Bella is changed and she and Edward go to Dartmouth? No Renesmee, No Volturi. Just their happily ever after. She was always close to Angela, what happens when she gets a letter from her old friend and maintains a pen-pal relationship through the years, What happens when that friend becomes the only link to her past life and makes her realize she may have made the wrong choice.

**_I was writing a totally different FANFIC when this just came to me and I couldn't help but go with it, my first FANFIC, not beta'd, please be gentle. And of course I own nothing, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyers butthen again we all know that don't we. _**

**_Prologue_**

Isabella Marie Cullen sat looking out the window of the Cullen's latest mansion deep in thought. It had been two years since she was changed and although she loved Edward to distraction, the fact was she had been changed at a period in her life when she was torn and confused. They all overlooked the possibility that she would remain this way for eternity and never truly be happy with her choice. Edward had hoped she would forget all of her human memories like most of them eventually did and move on but it was just too soon, that took decades, and little did he know she was holding on to those memories as if her very life depended on it, constantly reminding herself of what she left behind, determined never to forget.

A day didn't pass when she didn't think about her old life, her mom and dad, old friends, Billy, the wolves and most especially Jacob. She knew he had finally returned but that was all, Charlie never talked about him, any of them in fact, and she couldn't bring herself to ask, she was allowed to call him and Renee once a week, the Cullen's thought it would be best if she cut all ties to her human life completely but they also realized she was unhappy and wanted to do whatever they could to help her transition, the only one who didn't try to help was Rosalie who would have been the first to tell her told you so if she thought she could get away with it.

She found out her dad was dating Sue Clearwater and now knew about the wolves. Seth had accidently phased in front of Charlie and spilled the beans so it was agreed by the council that he could be told everything. After panicking and a quick secret chat with Sue she was told that they left out the fact the she and the Cullen's were vampires, she promised her Charlie was ok and they would keep him safe. She loved talking to her dad, but he was always more interested in her life than giving her information about his, he always asked when she could visit but she put him off with excuses of demanding classes and tons of schoolwork,he missed her but he told her he understood and was proud of her dedication, sometimes that was like a slap in the face. Renee was easy, aside from her initial curiosity about Bella's new voice, that changed permanently after a severe case of laryngitis, she only talked about herself, Phil, her new hobbies and classes and current obsession with Tai Chi.

They had just started their junior year at Dartmouth. College wasn't what she had expected it to be, of course she was excelling academically but then again she was surrounded by vampires who had degrees in just about everything and since she never slept she had plenty of time to study. She was actually the first in the family going for a Masters in Literature, not that she would ever be able to use it but it was what she loved. She thought College would be a whirlwind of classes and parties and making lifelong friendships, but like in high school the Cullen's were different and kept to themselves and the humans wisely stayed away. So her life was the Cullen's and only the Cullen's, and as much as she loved them all there was always something or someone missing.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The Cullen's were at a crossroads; they received a letter for Bella today and didn't know what to do. Would this tie to her past push her further into depression or would it help her by having a relationship with someone other than them. After careful consideration and much to the delight of Edward that it wasn't from anyone in La Push, they decided to give her the letter. Edward hoped that maybe having a pen pal could finally push away those thoughts of Jacob and the pack that he knew were continually plaguing her mind. It didn't take a mind reader to know who she was thinking about as she stared out the window gently rubbing the little russet wolf on her bracelet. The bracelet that much to Edwards dismay, she never took off. Hoping to finally have his Bella back he went to give her the letter.

"Bella Love, I have a letter for you" she was at his side in an instant, he was still amazed at how quickly she had adapted to their world and grateful she never had to suffer as the rest of them had, he could feel her excitement, it was almost palpable and the smile on her face told him they had made the right decision.

"Really, from who, can I see it?" she was practically jumping up and down, her golden eyes sparkling. He couldn't help but smile, her happiness was contagious.

"It's from Seattle" He ignored the disappointment that momentarily flashed through her eyes, "A. Webber, isn't that your old friend Angela?" Her eyes lit up again as she took the letter.

"That's right, she was going to the University of Seattle, thank you Edward, this has totally made my day." She kissed him and ran from the room seeking privacy to read her letter, Edward was happy to finally see her smile but something deep down told him this may have been a mistake, shaking off the feeling he went to his Piano to work on the new composition he was writing for Bella.

Bella sat on her bed and ripped open the letter, even if it wasn't from Forks or La Push she knew Angela would give her a momentary respite from her current mood, they had always been close and hers was one of the relationships she missed the most, with that thought she opened her letter:

_Dear Bella, _

_I hope you don't mind but I called Charlie and got your address, I still can't believe I forgot to get it from you myself and I apologize its taken me two years to get my shit together and write you. So how is Married life? I have to tell you I love that I can rub the fact that you didn't get married because you were pregnant in Jessica's face, especially now but I'll get to that in a minute. Are you happy? What am I saying of course you are, you got your "happily ever after."_

Bella snorted a little at that one, did she? She still had her doubts although she would never tell anyone that. She had made her proverbial bed and now she had to sleep in it, she could never go back, not like she was now. Its not that she wasn't happy, she loved Edward. She just realized too late how manipulative he really was, she should have listened to Jake when he tried to tell her, he saw it all along. But no, she had always been stubborn. Now she couldn't decide anything for herself, not even what to wear, Alice and Rosalie had full control over everyone's wardrobes. All traces of the girl who had been Bella Swan had been erased. She was only allowed to kept a few momentos from her human life, a few Edward had almost insisted she throw away because they were gifts from or reminded her of Jake but she stood firm. It was the only battle she had won so far. Shaking her head she went back to her letter.

_How is Dartmouth? Are you coming home this summer? I hope so I would love to see you. So what's been going on in my life? Well it's been two years so I guess I have a lot to catch you up on. Ben and I broke up freshmen year, what can I say not all of us are destined to marry our high school sweethearts, it didn't help that I caught him cheating on me with Lauren Mallory of all people. I don't know why I was surprised. The funny thing is I was ok with it, to be honest I had been growing out of that relationship and didn't know how to end it, they actually made it easy for me. After that I pledged to Alpha Phi. Can you believe I'm in a sorority? Who would have thunk it huh? Shy Angela Webber, a greek goddess, ok still working on the goddess part but I am having a blast and the parties are awesome, sometime a little too much fun if you know what I mean. I'm sure you do, they have parties at Dartsmouth too right? I am really close to my sisters, they don't lie when they say friends for life, these girls are amazing. I've dated a few guys, nothing serious just having fun, its what your supposed to do right. I am working on my teaching degree, to teach math no less, I guess I'll always be a geek at heart, what can I say. It's hard work but it will be worth it in the end, I want to teach Elementary School. Imagine all those young minds to mold. So let me get on with the gossip, first and most shocking, Taylor is gay. I honestly never would have saw that one coming, Eric yeah but Taylor? He came out of the closet last summer, shocked the hell out of all of us but he finally seems really happy, he has a boyfriend and let me tell you he is gorgeous, its true all the good ones are taken or gay. Lauren is well Lauren, I don't think she will ever change and the biggest shocker Jessica and Mike are getting married, ok them getting married is probably not a surprise but the fact that they are getting married because she is pregnant is. How's that for karma! I was wondering do you have a Facebook page? I looked for you but couldn't find one, or an E-mail address, as much as I love this old-fashioned letter writing crap it really is over-rated. And I can't spell check ha-ha. My e-mail is and I am on facebook, if you have a page add me as your friend, I have a pretty awesome picture of my first keg-stand on there. My parents would be so proud, spending all their hard earned money learing to kegstand and play beer pong. I have to cut this short I have class in a few minutes. I hope to hear from you soon and hope you are doing well. I miss you Bella._

_ Always a Friend, _

_ Angela_

Bella read the letter four more times before she grabbed her laptop. It was decided by the family that it was best not to have a facebook page but she tried to see Angela's anyway. Frustrated that you had to have an account first she decided to create one what were they going to do, she was a vampire for gods sake. Making it basic with no info, just BC as the name, she set up her account, once she was done she looked for Angela and was excited to see not all her information was private, most especially the pictures. It made her laugh to see all of her pictures; some went back to high school, a few included Bella herself. Angela had grown into a beautiful woman, she had aged but not in a bad way, her brown hair now hung down her back in curls and she no longer had glasses allowing her brown eyes to dominate her heart shaped face. She was no longer skinny and had curves in all the right places. Bella went through every picture, Angela with her sorority sisters, picture of Jessica, Mike, Ben, Connor, Lauren, Eric and even Taylor and his boyfriend. Her life was what Bella had always imagined college life would be and as envious as she was she would never let on to the rest of the family, if they knew this upset her they would take it away and she needed this, it was her only link to her past.

The family was ecstatic to see Bella return to her old self, as much as she could anyway, with each letter and e-mail they were more and more confident that they had made the right decision, Bella was happy and anticipated each letter, no matter how trivial. She responded in kind, her life wasn't as exciting but she tried to keep her responses lively, asking more questions than anything. No one could have seen what was coming, and no one could have been happier than Bella at the new development, at least that is what she initially thought.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The school year flew by and Bella kept receiving e-mails from Angela; it was the one thing in her monotonous life she had to look foreword to. Living vicariously through her she began to enjoy her own life a little more and decided to take more control of it. She had attempted to make a couple of friends outside the family much to their dismay. She only made one or two but it was nice having someone else to talk to, of course it was always edited because of what she was but it was still a nice change. She even went to a party and played Beer Pong, which was bad because she had to throw up all the beer later, but she just figured it was the same thing all the other drunken kids were doing so she didn't mind. She finally put her foot down on the designer clothes. She was back in her Jeans, t-shirts and sneakers. Edward loved it, it reminded him of his human Bella but Alice was still upset with her.

Angela made sure to tell her all about her failed dates, The Red Dress Gala, rush week and the parties. It seemed her life was full of never-ending excitement and chaos but she took it all in stride. Mike and Jessica got married and had a little boy. Every letter made Bella love Angela more and they were growing closer through their correspondence, Bella tried to hold nothing back but it was impossible. The family was in London for the summer, as much as she wanted to go home and see her dad it was out of the question so they took a trip abroad hoping the change in scenery would take her mind off of things. Sitting in a small pub pretending to drink a beer she took out her laptop, thanked god for wireless Internet and logged into her e-mail account, she was surprised to see a new e-mail from Angela and opened it right away.

_Dear Bella,_

_ I can't believe your in London, I am soooo jealous. Your traveling all over the world and all I get is First Beach and Forks for the summer._

What Bella wouldn't give to trade places with her, London was nice but all she wanted was to go home.

_I can't believe we only have one more year of college; it's gone by so fast. Forks is Forks, nothing ever changes here. I know I just wrote you but I was so excited by recent events that I just had to write you. You will never believe who I ran into today! We all decided to hit First Beach because believe it or not the sun was actually out. We were all hanging around and out of no where I got knocked out by a football, when I opened my eyes I swear I had died, gone to heaven and met an angel, dramatic yes but seriously I was looking into the two most beautiful brown eyes ever and after a minute of staring at each other my angel gave me the most breathtaking smile, apologized and introduced himself. I was knocked out by non other than your old friend Jacob Black._

If Bella's heart was still beating it would have stopped. Jake. She was finally going to hear about Jake, she let out an unnecessary breath and continued reading

_ GOD! I couldn't talk, he is so gorgeous, and absolutely mouthwatering all I could do was stare and drool and he just laughed. After a few minutes I finally remembered how to talk and we had such a great conversation. I can see now why you were torn in high school, he is such a doll and that smile, I swear it lit up the whole beach, who needs the sun with that smile right? We talked for hours about everything; our families, having twin siblings, college and our futures, he's opening a garage with a couple of his friends, who are also smoking hot by the way, what in the hell is in the water down there? Lauren was having a field day with all the fresh meat, well most of them, a few of them are obviously totally devoted to their girlfriends and wives but the single ones are fair game, what impressed me most about Jake is he totally ignored her, which was awesome for me because we ended up spending the whole day together. He has such a magnetic personality; I can't help but feel drawn to him. We hung out and talked and then sat on an old piece of driftwood and watched the sunset and afterwards the guys made a bonfire. He was so sweet, he even held me when I got cold. God he was so warm Bella, I just wanted to melt into him, I swear my heart was beating in overdrive. I took a few pictures and already posted them. Thought you might like to see the old beach. Not that it can compare to London but it's nice to see. After such an awesome day it got even better, he asked me out, I of course said yes, its amazing Bella, we have such a connection and so much in common, it's almost like its fate. Well I gotta get to bed, like I could sleep I'm so excited, it will be hard but I know when I do I will be having sweet dreams. Talk to you soon._

_ Luv Ya, _

_ Angela_

Bella stared at the screen for a minute before opening Angela's Facebook. Just as promised there were new pictures, several of their friends, a couple of the beach and sunset and last but not least a few of Jacob and the pack. Bella was mesmerized; she couldn't stop looking at Jake. Angela was right he had changed. If Bella thought he was sort of beautiful before he was completely beautiful now. She took in every detail with her vampire eyes, committing them to memory. He was bigger, taller. Had he taken over as Alpha? His russet skin was flawless and every muscle was defined. He had grown his hair out a little bit, it was all jaw length and sexy as hell. The biggest difference was his face, no longer a little kid but a man his Jaw was hard, and his eyes, they were different, it's like something was missing but Bella couldn't say what. The next picture was different he was looking at Angela, they were face to face and they seemed to fit perfectly together, he was smiling her Jacob smile and she saw the change in his eyes, the smile reached his eyes when he looked at her friend, that was the difference from all the other pictures, when he was with her his eyes were happy, adoring. Oh my god, did he imprint on Angela? She quickly reread the letter and became angry, why would she tell her this stuff, was she trying to hurt her. That was their driftwood why would he take her there? She should be in his arms, not Angela, and that was her smile. She started to growl, jealousy eating her but then she caught herself, of course she wasn't, Bella had always claimed Jacob was never anything more than her best friend, and she was supposed to be living her own happily ever after with Edward. Angela would think he was fair game and if Bella was truly only his friend she would be happy to have her two closest friends get together right? She flipped through several more pictures. Sam and Emily with a baby, Paul and a Pregnant Rachel, Jared and Kim, Quil holding a much bigger Claire. Embry, Seth, Collin, Brady and two boys she didn't recognize but who were obviously wolves flirting with Lauren and a few more of Angela and Jake and one of Leah. Taylor had even tagged her in a picture that was taken by someone else, this picture hurt Bella more than anything. It was Jake and Angela, she was wrapped in his arms in front of the bonfire and they were looking at each other, the rest of the world seemed oblivious to them, they were just staring into each other eyes. Bella actually felt like she was intruding on a very private moment.

She logged off and thought about what she had just learned. Jake was ok, and happy. He had moved on without her and was living his life, and that just might include Angela in the future. She didn't know how she felt about that, a part of her, the selfish part wanted him pining over her forever but even she knew that wasn't fair. She loved Jake, more than she ever admitted to anyone, including herself. She wanted him happy but deep down she finally admitted she wanted him for herself. But it was to late. With a heavy heart she went back to their hotel. The family knew something was off but didn't pry. That night when her and Edward were laying in their bed snuggling since they obviously couldn't sleep he finally asked her what was wrong and for the millionth time she was grateful he couldn't read her mind.

"Bella love, what's wrong? You seem sad today?" He didn't understand, she had been doing so much better. Bella on the other hand lied through her teeth.

"I'm just sad, I know I chose this but I just miss Charlie, I saw several old men fishing today and they made me think of him that way and I remembered I would never get to see him old, or be there for him if he gets sick, to say goodbye when he dies."

"I understand, I know this is hard my love but it will get better in time, I promise. How about we go hunting, that might cheer you up, it's been a while since you've fed" Bella hated hunting, she did it only out of necessity and only when she couldn't take the burning in her throat anymore, if she were honest with herself she really made a bad vampire. She hated killing innocent animals just for their blood, hell when she was human she ate veggie burgers why did she think she'd change; human blood didn't even tempt her the way it should.

"No, I'd like to just lay here and cuddle, you always make me feel better, and we can hunt tomorrow, it will give us something to do, right now I just want to hold you." Appeased, Edward did just that, Bella on the other hand couldn't relax, and her mind was working overtime. She wished she could sleep, if just to take a break from always thinking. She closed her eyes and pretended. She imagined the slim, pale arms holding her were really warm, russet and strong, that the sweet scent penetrating her nose was really Jacobs musky, woodsy scent that used to send her heart racing. She knew she needed to cut herself off from Angela, it was just hurting her more seeing what could have been. But now she was addicted and like a junkie she already needed her next fix. She had to keep this from her family, if they ever found out they would take it away and the letters and seeing the pictures had become the most important thing in her sad pitiful life, she wouldn't give them up.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been a little over a week since Angela's last e-mail. Bella wondered if her and Jake had already had their date. She was anxious to find out what happened, she was truly a masochist. She had been playing the part of happy loving wife, sister and daughter but her patience was wearing thin. She had repeatedly checked her e-mail and had even become a self-admitted Facebook stalker. Through Angela's page she had found out that others had pages as well. Embry, Quil, Seth and Rachel among a few. She was ecstatic to see that Jake had one as well and visited it almost daily even though he never really put anything on there.

After two weeks she was starting to get angry and was about to send Angela an E-mail herself. She went to her room so she could have some privacy and almost squealed in delight when she saw a new message in her in-box.

_Dear Bella, _

_ I am so glad to hear you are enjoying London. The weather must remind you of Forks with all that rain you were talking about. One of my sorority sisters is from England, not sure where exactly but she goes on and on about the food and beer, what's your opinion? To hear her tell it no food on earth is better but most of us are inclined to disagree. I am sure your wondering about my Date with Jake, we went out two weeks ago and actually ended up spending the whole weekend together. I can't believe how perfect we mesh. Our date started out good but almost crashed and burned. I don't mean to pry Bella but what exactly happened between the two of you? We were at dinner when I casually mentioned that I had been e-mailing you and he literally almost lost it, he was so mad he was shaking and I never saw so much hurt in someone's eyes before, it was the same look he gets when we talk about his mom dying but worse, like he was mourning you. He even had to excuse himself to get some fresh air. _

Hearing about me made him mad, so mad he almost phased. I know I had hurt him. All I ever did was hurt him. The last time I saw him was at my wedding and then he ran. I tried calling him when I returned from the honeymoon but no one knew where he was. I tried to apologize for all I had done but it was too late we left for school and I never got my chance.

_I figured our date was over and got up to leave when he finally returned. He apologized and told me we would talk about it after dinner. We went to the beach to our driftwood and it was beautiful, but the mood was strained. I was afraid to bring it up but he finally did. He told me that you and he were no longer friends. He explained how he had been in love with you for a very long time, since you were kids actually and you chose Edward over him. He had been there for you during that whole horrible time and the minute Edward came back he was instantly forgotten. He said he could have eventually forgiven you for that but then you made a bad decision, the wrong decision and because of this decision he no longer wants anything to do with you, can't have anything to do with you. He told me he understood we were friends and he would never ask me to choose or give up your friendship, he just made me promise to never mention you to him again or in front of any of his family or friends. He told me it would just cause problems. I promised I wouldn't and the rest of our night went fine. Bella what did you do? What could be so bad that he would want to erase you from his life? I am going to be honest I am little uncomfortable talking about our relationship with you now. I know it's only been three weeks but we have gotten very close. Bella I'm not going to lie, I think I am falling in love with him and I think he feels the same way. I spent this last weekend with him, His dad went fishing with your dad so we had the house to ourselves, it was amazing Bella. I have never been with anyone like him, we are compatible in every way mentally, emotionally, and physically. We spent the whole weekend making love and talking, I mean we literally never left the bed but to eat and shower and that was usually together. Let me tell you, he gives new meaning to the word stamina. I never knew it could be this way, and I am sorry but I really want to see where this is going to go, for all I know it just might be a summer fling even though he promises me its not but I don't want to chance ruining this by betraying his trust and telling you about him even if he didn't ask me not to. I'm not telling this to hurt you and it probably won't because you never felt that way about him and your in love with Edward but he told me he had once though being with you would be easing as breathing but now he knows that he was wrong that with me it is as easy as breathing there is no thinking about it. I love having you as a friend and I want to continue writing to you but I have to tell you that I will no longer be talking about Jake. I hope that's not a problem although I don't see why it would be. So please respect this. On another note I had dinner with your dad, Sue and the Blacks the other night. They are so cute together Bella you should see them. They are like teenagers. Oh I forgot to tell you, Lauren is dating Embry, can you believe that? She has totally changed she's actually dare I say happy. I say date but I guess the right term would be go at it like bunnies, hell those two make bunnies look prude ha-ha. Well I have to get ready for the bonfire. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Love Ya, _

_Angela_

She read the E-mail three more times before closing her laptop. She saw her dad? They were falling in love? They made love for a whole weekend? Bella couldn't imagine, she had assumed once she was turned that her and Edwards sex life would be phenomenal, she heard Rosalie and Emmet every night and could only fantasize about what he was doing to her to make her moan in pleasure like that, Alice and Jasper were no better. Even Carlisle and Esme went at it regularly but were thankfully more discreet. But her sex life was pretty much non-existent, Edward, always the gentleman was stuck in the 1900's where sex was to procreate and since they couldn't he really didn't bother but once a week. The first year of marriage she had to beg him and as wonderful and gentle as he was their love making had never been earth shattering, over time she just stopped asking and would take it when she could get it.

She frantically searched her fading memories for the time Jake had kissed her before the newborn fight. That had been the most passionate kiss of her existence, it was hot and hard and raw and that kiss told her exactly how he felt about her, every emotion was in that one kiss. What would it have been like to make love with him, she could only assume he would be as passionate in his lovemaking as he was with everything else in his life. Jake never held back, he never did anything halfway.

Even her vampire brain couldn't process everything she was currently feeling. She needed to get out of there. She put her computer away and called her husband. "Edward" she didn't need to yell he would hear her. He was at her side in an instant.

"Yes love"

"I need to hunt" That's all she said, without looking back she jumped out the window and raced through the forest with Edward at her side. She was feeling violent and it showed in her kill, she put every ounce of anger, regret and jealousy she was feeling into it; the deer never had a chance. She drained it and immediately went in search of another leaving a baffled Edward staring after her. After she successfully drained her second deer she looked down at her blood covered clothes, she still wasn't able to hunt without making a mess. For the first time since she had been changed Bella felt like the monster she was. _How's the food in England? It's raw and bloody and dead._

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward was looking at her with concern

"Yeah, I was just really thirsty and it just hit me. When are we going home? I don't want to be here anymore, I want to go home."

"I'll tell the family, would you like to go somewhere different, Spain? Maybe France?"

"No, I just want to go home."


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Once the Cullen's returned home the rest of the summer went by quickly and before she knew it Bella was starting her senior year at Dartmouth. Angela had kept up her E-mails and true to her word she never mentioned anything regarding Jake. Bella knew they were still together, she watched as they fell In love through pictures on the computer which she checked daily, she even forgot her own strength and broke her computer in half when she noticed their Facebook status changed from single to in a relationship with each other. She couldn't help but compare them the fairytale romance that she should have had with Edward and her jealousy was becoming a permanent part of her. If anyone suspected anything they never let on. Jasper was the only one who really knew how she felt and he kept it to himself not wanting to upset Alice.

Bella had assumed as soon as Angela returned to school her relationship with Jake would end but much to her disappointment it didn't, if anything there were more picture's of Jake at school with her than there were of them together in La Push. Realizing her obsession was getting out of hand she decided to throw herself into her schoolwork and trying to fix her and Edwards relationship that he didn't even know was broken. Fall turned into winter and winter into spring. Graduation was only two weeks away. The family was excited to see Bella accomplish so much, her focus and hard work paid off and she was invited to attend Oxford to complete her masters and eventually maybe even receive a Doctorate in English literature. As a human she would have been thrilled for the opportunity but as a vampire she couldn't help but wonder what the point was, she would never be able to pursue a career, she looked eighteen, nineteen at the most. What college would hire her? She realized that being stuck a teenager had its downfalls, this only added to her bitterness and resentment.

Two days before her graduation she received the surprise of her life when she called Charlie for their weekly chat. He told her that he would be arriving the following evening with Sue and Seth to attend her graduation ceremony. He had kept it a secret to surprise her. The Cullen's shocked by this more because Alice didn't see it coming than the situation itself scrambled to find a way out of it. Much to Bella's distress, they finally decided they would just have to go through with the visit but it would have to be the last time Bella ever saw Charlie. She didn't know if she could pull it off. What if he figured it out? He knew about the wolves and by default the existence of vampires. She didn't want her father to ever find out what she had chosen to become, it would not only hurt but also disappoint him and at the same time she had missed him terribly and couldn't wait to be held in his arms like the little girl she once was.

The weekend flew by much too quickly for Bella; her time with her father was precious and bittersweet. He was bursting with pride at all she had accomplished and couldn't wait to brag to anyone who would listen that his baby girl was going to Oxford. If he noticed the difference in her appearance he never let on, Sue and Seth were cordial but then again Seth and Edward had always gotten along. They had bonded during the newborn fight and remained friends. The rest of the Cullen's tried to remain scarce giving the excuse they didn't want to interrupt Charlie's time with his daughter. When they took them to the airport that Sunday evening Bella hung onto every minute with her father, knowing it would be her last. Charlie, never being one for emotions seemed to unconsciously know he would never see her again and told her how much he loved her, how proud he was of the woman she had become and that she was by far the greatest accomplishment of his life. She dry sobbed the entire ride home and fell into a sort of depression for weeks after. Nothing could pull her out of her misery. Edward, at a complete loss as to what to do for his love bought her a new laptop hoping her pen pal relationship would once again pull her out of her melancholy mood. She was happy with her gift but not overly anxious to see how wonderful everyone's lives had turned out. Her visit with her father had brought all her regret to the forefront of her mind and she didn't know how to right the wrong she had committed. Once again being the masochist she finally opened her E-mail surprised to see two new messages from Angela.

_Dear Bella, _

_ Happy Graduation! Can you believe it we are finally done with school, well I am. Charlie told us all about Oxford. Wow! Congrats! That is just amazing. How long will you be there? Do you think you will come for a visit before you go? I received my teaching degree and thanks to a little help from Billy I got a teaching job at La Push Elementary. I couldn't be happier actually that's a lie, I have some wonderful news for you and am going to explode if I don't shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I know. I'm getting married. Yes, married. Jake proposed to me. It was so romantic, we were at a bonfire celebrating me finally graduating and then out of nowhere, surrounded by everyone we love he dropped to one knee and proposed. We haven't set a date yet; he wants to get our house finished first. He bought some land near the beach and is building what he calls our dream home but to be honest I could live in a shack and be happy as long as he's by my side. I understand completely now why you married Edward when you did, once you find your soul mate you need to grab your happily ever after and never look back. I hate to cut this short but I have to go to Jakes. He says he has something important to talk to me about, uh oh. I will write back soon. _

_Love Ya, _

_Angela _

Married? They were getting married? She couldn't deal with the thought right now, she decided to read the next E-mail, maybe he changed his mind and that's what he wanted to talk to her about she thought hopefully.

_Bella, _

_ I know. I know everything! _

Bella froze, Angela's words hitting her like a slap in the face. Coming out of her shock she quickly read the rest of the letter.

_We just got home from Billy's and to say my evening was interesting would be an understatement. I know what Jake and the guys are, I know what they do. I know all about the legends, imprinting and I even know about the cold ones, yes, all of them. I am sure you are wondering why they told me, you don't need to worry if the treaty was broken, it wasn't. I needed to be told, not because I am an imprint but because I am the Alphas chosen mate, you see as the alpha he will never imprint but he chose me to share his life with so I obviously had to be told. I have never seen Jake scared until tonight, the fear he had that I would reject him was almost palpable. I will admit I was a little freaked out at first, especially when I saw him change but then my fear and confusion gave way to awe and amazement and I love him regardless, kind of like you loved Edward knowing what he was._

_After it all sank in and I accepted it, we came home and of course Jake being Jake he eagerly claimed me as his mate, it was the most erotic moment of my life and I have to admit there's a sort of comfort knowing that we are literally mated for life, he's mine forever, well as long as our forever lasts anyways. As we lay together snuggling I couldn't help but think about you and the choice you made. I even brought it up to Jake hoping he could give me some insight as to why you would choose death over life. As we talked he explained how hurt and bitter he had become because of your choice, he couldn't understand sacrificing so much for someone, but he realizes now. He forgives you Bella, he says if you love Edward even a fraction of how much he loves me then you could never have made any other choice. I just wanted you to know. I know this has been something that has always torn at his soul, that he couldn't save you. But realizing you had no other choice because you loved him he let all of that old hurt, guilt and anger go and is finally at peace. Knowing how close you were I am sure this was causing you pain too and I wanted you to know it was ok to let it go so you both could have some closure and move on._

_I have to admit, knowing what I do now, I really want to see you but I also know that you can never return. When I asked Jake if there was ever a chance of us visiting you he said no, even though he forgives you, he doesn't want me anywhere near any… well I'm sure you know the word he used and I'm know you of all people know how protective he can be. I also realized how much you gave up and I am sorry Bella. I will do my best to keep you up to date on your dad. I couldn't imagine losing everyone important to me but I also know you chose to follow your heart. I hope my knowing isn't going to be a problem, you know your secret is safe with me. I hope you are well and happy. _

_Always, _

_Angela_

Bella was furious. Hurt and furious, one of her biggest fears and one of the reasons she didn't want to choose Jake had been her fear of him imprinting on someone and leaving her and it turns out he had a choice, she knew he would have chosen her. She had been selfish, so selfish. She didn't want to end up alone and Edward was as much of a sure thing as you could get. He forgave her? How dare he. She understood that with his forgiveness also came his decision to let go of the past, of her and move on. Something she would never be able to do.

Rosalie was ecstatic it had been her turn to run to town to collect the mail from the Oxford PO box. If it had been anyone else her discovery would have been destroyed immediately. When she had opened the box a horrific stench assaulted her nose making her snarl and as she flipped through the pile of envelopes looking for the source of the smell she noticed a thick one addressed to Bella. This was it and to her delight it was drenched in the smell of wet dog, a particular wet dog if her memory served her correct and if she wasn't mistaken it was a wedding invitation. It was from her friend Angela, was she marrying the dog? This was nothing but poetic justice in Rosalie's eyes. She had tried to talk Bella out of becoming one of them, but no one would listen and now they all had to walk around on eggshells because the twit was regretting her decision.

Carlisle and Esme worried about what would happen to Edward if he lost her, Alice was still attached to her, even though the human idiosyncrasies that attracted her were no longer there and Jasper of course lived for Alice's happiness. It was only her and Emmet who saw things for what they were and knew one-day Bella's regret would end in tragedy and have an adverse effect on the whole family. Maybe if she could speed up the process they could all go on with their lives. Rosalie got home as fast as human pretense could get her there and went straight to Bella.

"Bella, you got a letter and fair warning it stinks to high heaven, I'm never going to get the smell out of my hand" She threw the letter on the bed and walked out of the room. Bella looked at the envelope and sniffed the air; she didn't smell anything bad, even worse she smelled Jake. His musky, spicy scent that always calmed her, made her feel safe and loved. She was shocked, he was supposed to smell like wet dog, was it just her? She picked it up breathing it in as hundreds of memories flooded her brain; if scent was a strong memory trigger to humans it was even more so to a vampire. She slowly opened it to reveal a wedding invitation, she didn't know why she was surprised, she pulled it out and a folded letter fell to the floor. It was the source of Jakes scent. Her hands were shaking as she opened it, so much for being a vampire she thought with sarcasm.

**_Bells,_**

**_I'm sure I'm the last person you thought you'd ever hear from again. I know you won't be able to attend but we wanted you to know you were remembered. I still question your choice sometimes but I can also understand it a lot better now since I have finally found my own soul mate. I wish you nothing but the best Bella, and I sincerely mean that._**

**_Jake_**

Crumpling the letter in her hand, she let her anger flow through her, how dare he rub it in her face. She would show them, she was going to be happy, she had the love of her life and he could give her anything she wanted. She let her hidden materialistic side come to the surface, there wasn't anything Edward couldn't buy her and she would make sure she had a life they could only dream of. What could they possibly have that she couldn't? Over the next few years she would learn the answer and realize the truth is a bitter pill to swallow.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Bella sat there, thinking about her life and what she had given up. Finally resolved to live her life and not focus on what she left behind she re-read Jacobs letter one more time, wishing if only for a moment that she could cry.

"Bella I asked you a question" she turned to see Edward walking towards her , she was so lost in thought she never heard him come in the room.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" she asked while hiding Jacobs letter.

"I said what is that, where did you get it and why does it smell like _HIM_?" Oh shit, she had forgotten that everyone would smell the distinct wolf scent.

"Rosalie gave it to me earlier, it's a wedding invitation see" she handed him the invitation while keeping Jacobs letter hidden underneath her leg. She knew he would get rid of it if he knew about it. He read over it quickly, frowning at her.

"Why didn't you tell me you had been in touch with Jacob?"

"Because I haven't been, the only person I've been in touch with is Angela, you read the invitation. She's marrying Jacob. They have been together for a year now. She knows Edward, everything. She is his soul mate. I am actually happy about that because I finally have someone to talk to, a friend I don't have to hide things from." He looked at her still frowning; well she wanted to start living her life, no time like the present right, so she lied. "Edward, this is a good thing, I have always felt so guilty hurting Jacob like I did, to know now that he has moved on and is happy well I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders."

"You're not upset about this?" He looked a little skeptical.

"No, of course not. Why would I be, he was my best friend and he's happy" I almost choked on the words as they left my mouth. "You know what I want to do?"

"What my love" he handed her the invitation.

"I want us to go away, just me and you. We haven't had any alone time since our honeymoon. Lets take a trip?" His face lit up

"Really? I would love to, is there anyplace special you would like to go? What about Oxford?"

"Of course we will have to be back for school but that's almost three months away, I want to go to Venice, you remember I took that Art History class as an elective? I would love to see some of the original works and frescos. Do you think we could do that?" The joy that spread over his face broke her heart; she had been so unfair to him. What was her problem, when she was with Jacob and pined for Edward, now that she got Edward all she could do is think about Jacob. She was truly screwed up.

"I will go start making arrangements now, how soon do you want to leave?"

"Is now possible?" I said as I smiled at him. He gave me a lingering kiss and smiled when he broke away. "I love you Bella"

"I love you too Edward" with one last kiss he was gone.

Bella's summer with Edward was wonderful, for a short time she could actually forget about everything. They traveled throughout Italy, even paying a visit to Aro who once again tried to recruit them both. He was in awe of the immortal she had become and Bella took a sick sort of pleasure seeing Jane squirm as Aro praised her. She kept writing Angela, telling her in great detail of all the beautiful places they had been and the amazing things they has done. They had finally set a date for their wedding, August 25th and it was all Angela could write about in her excitement. Bella couldn't understand some women's obsession with dresses, flowers and table settings but she took it in stride, it was hard to be bitter about something she had no interest in. They day of their wedding she stayed in her room, feeling sorry for herself. Fall came and she started Oxford. She was surprised when she got a call from Charlie letting her know he proposed to Sue and wanted her home for the wedding, they were doing it Christmas Eve so she should be off of school. She apologized profusely, giving her thesis and a short teaching internship in London as an excuse, telling him she wished she knew earlier, but there was no way to get out of it now. He was disappointed but said he understood. She gave them an all expense paid two-week honeymoon in Hawaii as a wedding gift. It was during this time that the Carlisle called a family meeting.

"I called this meeting because we left Forks almost six years and its getting harder and harder for Bella to give excuses." He looked around the table, "I think its time."

"Time for what?" Bella was confused, were they going home, she fought to keep her excitement hidden. Edward's next words almost destroyed her.

"Bella love" Edward started, "we need to fake our deaths, it's getting too hard and they are just getting hurt, they are going to start asking too many questions" she panicked

"Getting hurt? They might be offended, disappointed even but my death will crush my father not to mention Renee, how can you even suggest this? There has to be another way, maybe I can make him mad at me, disown me I don't know there has to be something else we can do "

"It will hurt but they will move on Bella, it's really for the best dear." Esme tried to console her but she just pushed her away.

"The best for who, for you? Its not the best for me or for them, I can't hurt my family this way" Rosalie finally spoke up, sick of her selfish whining.

"Yes Bella, the best for us. You made this choice, remember? What did you think you would get to talk to them until they grew old and died? How long did you think you could put everyone off? Your dad is a cop, he's not stupid, we can't just disappear or he will look for you. You need to die, you already have. Your human life was over six years ago. This was your choice now you have to do what's best for them, to keep everyone safe. It's bad enough the stupid dog and his band of mutts know the truth if you father found out the Volturi would kill him without a second thought. You had the opportunity to make the right choice once and you chose wrong, now you can live with that decision." She grabbed Emmet's hand and led him from the room mumbling about what a mistake changing her had been and they never should have returned after they left he first time. Bella silently agreed.

Completely at a loss as to what to say or do Bella went to her room. She had never expected this, she knew deep down that one day she would have to say goodbye to her father but never like this, she couldn't imagine the pain it would put him through. She had time; she would come up with an alternative solution. She had to. But in the end the decision was taken out of her hands, the perfect opportunity presented itself and the Cullen's took it. A week after Christmas a plane traveling from London to Oxford crashed, all it took was a little computer manipulation and both Bella and Edward were listed as passengers, there were no survivors. The first thing Charlie found out about the day he returned from his honeymoon was that his daughter was dead, neither one of them got to say goodbye. It was the last straw for Bella, they had always taken her choices away from her, but this time it hurt someone else, someone important and she would never forgive them.

_Dear Bella, _

_I went to your funeral today. I…I am at a loss for words. I have finally seen the consequences of your decision and understand why Jake was so upset. Why would you do this? And the day he comes back from his honeymoon? How selfish are you? In a way I can understand why you would have to eventually "die" but like this? Bella you have broken your fathers heart, I have never seen such a strong man break down, and to have to bury an empty casket just made it worse. After the funeral Jake left, he went wolf, said he needed some space. I know he would never admit it to me but a piece of him still loves you and this only served to slap him in the face. He will be ok, I know my husband better than anyone and I will make sure he pulls through this, It's your father I'm worried about. Seth and Leah have tried to fill the void you left, I think in time they will all help each other heal, they lost their father and he lost his only child. I promise to look after him Bella, like he was my own. I still can't imagine what you were thinking._

_Angela_

_(She immediatly replied)_

_Angela, _

_I don't know what to say, the truth is I was never given the choice, the Cullen's made it for me. I found out what they had done after the fact. If only you knew how many things in this life I regret but hurting my father like this is the biggest. I never wanted this, I was trying to come up with an alternative solution but I wasn't given the opportunity. Please tell Jake I am sorry. I wish I had listened to him all those years ago, he saw the way Edward and his family would control and manipulate me. I was too blind to see it but I do now. I don't know what to do at this point, its not like I can change my mind but please look out for Charlie, I love my father and will never forgive myself for causing him this pain. I can only hope one day he will move on and be happy. I am so sorry, for everything._

_Bella_

Bella closed her computer. She was done and needed to make some decisions. One thing that was certain was she was through with the Cullen's, all of them. But where would she go? She was alone in this world, any reason she had to keep what little was left of her humanity was gone. She had given up everything that ever meant anything to her and for what? Edward loved her but treated her like a child and the rest of the Cullen's who at one time had been the family she longed for were now the reason for her family's pain. Her heart was shut off to them forever and she would never forgive them. They were right when they said change for a vampire was rare, and when it happened it was permanent. In that exact moment she felt the change, she felt her heart turn cold, and any love she ever had for Edward or the Cullen's was replace by hatred.

She waited, pretending nothing was wrong, biding her time, waiting to make an actual decision so Alice couldn't stop her or warn them. She planned, explained to Edward she needed to get away, alone, to mourn for her father. Afraid to upset her further he agreed and made arrangements for her to visit Sicily for a few days before he joined her. When the flight had a layover in Milan Italy she was ecstatic. Making sure to never make an actual decision she packed her bags and in her carry on she placed her laptop and her box of mortal treasures, the only things she would keep. Once the plane landed she ran, ran faster than she ever had before, keeping her mind blank. Once she finally reached her destination she let her decision flood her mind, and she knew Alice would see but it would be too late.

She walked into the dimly lit building, appreciating the beauty of the art that adorned the ancient walls. She finally made her way to the front desk and a beautiful woman looked at her curiously, recognizing her with jealousy in her eyes. "Buona Sera, how can I help you?"

In England Alice froze as the vision over took her, Edward was at her side in an instant reading her mind, both of their hearts breaking because they knew they finally had lost her.

"Can you please let Aro know Bella Cullen is here and would like to speak with him."


	7. Chapter 6

_**A/N Sorry for the delay in the update, between real life and my muse running away to the other story I am writing, its been difficult to get done. As aways none of it belongs to me.**_

Chapter 6

Bella had been shown to a beautiful room with a huge window that allowed her to see the natural and architectural beauty of the city. She had always wanted to tour Tuscany; to see the art and culture the region was historically famous for and maybe even become a wine connoisseur. She never in a million years wanted to experience it this way.

As she got settled she thought about what she was going to ask Aro for and was beginning to wonder if she may have been a little hasty in her decision. Even if she had she wouldn't regret it now she needed to get away from the Cullen's so she could grow and that was exactly what she planned on doing. Hearing a soft knock on the door she squared her shoulders and went to face her fate.

When she opened the door she had to refrain from laughing. Jane, looking very much like the petulant little girl she was, was standing there waiting to escort her to Aro. "Hello Jane, its so very good to see you" she just snarled, staring her down, Bella knew exactly what she was doing, "Jane, it still doesn't work. Please stop trying before you hurt yourself. Can we please go, I don't want to keep Aro waiting" She turned on the heel of her little baby doll shoe and Bella obediently followed.

When she entered the throne room it was just as she remembered it, Marcus and Caius sat on their thrones looking as if they'd been inconvenienced and the rest of the guard stood around, curious why she was there without the Cullen's.

"Isabella, it is indeed a pleasure to see you again, I apologize for the delay in our meeting, I hope you found your accommodations acceptable?"

'Yes, the room is beautiful and the view is nothing short of breathtaking, thank you so much for your hospitality"

"Think nothing of it my dear. It seems my old friend Carlisle was unaware of your intentions to visit and called to inquire about your welfare" she really wasn't in the mood for all of this nonsense and told him so.

"As much as I enjoy the polite banter I would much rather get to the point as not to waste any more of your time. I know the Cullen's were unaware because that is how I wanted it. I have come here in hopes that your offer to join your guard still stands?"

"Well Isabella, you certainly have my attention. What caused this change of heart? It was not so long ago that you were willing to give your mortal life for your true love Edward, is the grass not greener on the other side? Not that I plan to turn you away, of course the offer still stands but I must admit I am curious as to what brought this on."

Bella looked around the room, she really did not want to discuss this in front of everyone, she had hoped she could talk to Aro in private, she knew since he couldn't read her the only way to earn his trust was to let him become her confidant and hold nothing back. Sensing her hesitation he immediately knew what she wanted.

"Why don't you take a walk with me Bella, let us get to know one another" she took his arm and let him lead her out of the room into a small but beautiful garden, she noticed Demetri and Renata followed discreetly behind them, keeping him safe yet giving them privacy.

"Thank you Aro, I have never been comfortable speaking in front of strangers much less speaking about personal things in front of them. I apologize for coming unannounced but it was the only way, the gifts the Cullen's possess make it hard for one to have privacy much less make a decision they would not approve of."

"Why would they disapprove?" he looked at me with open curiosity.

"Please don't get me wrong a part of me still loves my husband and his family but they tend to, well for lack of a better word smother me. I know it is a habit from when I was human but to be honest I am tired of having all of my decisions taken away from me and you are also right that the grass is not greener on the other side, When I was turned I was not ready, there are a lot of things that I regret which have made it even harder for me to adapt to this life. I need to grow and find myself, who I am supposed to be, maybe then I will be able to return to my husband and his family, when I no longer resent them for bringing me into this world." His eyes held understanding, and maybe even some sympathy.

"Isabella, we all must find our own way in this world, and I am sure every vampire you talk to can tell you of their regrets, but you must learn to let them go. Eternity is a very long time to hold on to them. What did you wish to accomplish as a member of my guard?"

"I want you to teach me, I know I have a gift, I can feel it but I have no way to nurture it, or even know how to access it. I want to experience things, to be free to come and go as I please, to pick out my own clothes and to have friends and companions outside of the Cullen's coven, I want to feel passion and excitement and…" He arched an eyebrow at her last statement.

"Passion Isabella, I am sorry but I will not be able to help you in that area, my wife would not appreciate it, she may very well cut off my head and set me on fire if I were to even consider it. Was the young Mr. Cullen's performance in the marital bed really so lacking?" He had a teasing twinkle in his eye.

"Oh my god, no! I was not asking for that, I am so sorry, I just got carried away, oh this is so embarrassing" she put her face in her hands knowing if she were still human her face would be crimson. "And to answer your other question not necessarily lacking as much as completely not interested in it." Aro started to laugh whole-heartedly.

"Oh Bella you are truly a delight, a breath of fresh air. We are going to get along very well my dear, very well indeed. Can I inquire what brought all of this on, the proverbial straw so to speak?" She told him of the Cullen's arranging her death, how she was unable to say goodbye to her friends and family at least in her own way and then she told him of her life before her change.

She was very careful to leave out the wolves, only mentioning Jacob as the other man she had loved and given up, never revealing his name. She told him about her pain and jealousy knowing that he had moved on with her friend. About Angela and their letter writing until her "death" and how she had been the last link to her human life that she had been forced to give that up because the Cullen's didn't bother to consult her about their decision. She never told him of the e-mails or Face Book, or that anyone knew what she was. She would never bring harm to them, she would protect them at all costs; another reason she needed to learn how to use her gift.

"Isabella, although they went about it the wrong way I have to agree with their decision, the longer you corresponded with the humans in your past the greater chance they had of becoming suspicious and possibly learning of our existence. That would have had very tragic results, you are aware of the rules. To them you are dead. They will mourn you, move on and be safe living long, healthy, happy lives; this is what you should want for them."

"It is and I do understand, and now it's my turn to finish mourning my old life and move on, but if I am allowed to stay I have one small request, I realize I am not in a position to ask for anything but this is very important to me."

"Isabella you have quickly captured my heart with your honesty and forthrightness, I can see us becoming very close, very close indeed, what do you request my dear, name it and it shall be yours." She smiled at him; she realized that even thought he was one of the oldest and most sinister vampires alive he also had a soft side.

"I cannot hunt humans, I know you do not agree with the Cullen's diet but I can't take a human life, please don't make me. I have never tasted human blood, and to be honest I even have problems killing the animals. I make for a lousy vampire I know, but it is the only thing I must insist upon" He seemed to contemplate her request for a moment.

"If that is what you desire then so be it, there is plenty of game surrounding us and I'm sure there are other areas that are not to far of a run. I will personally teach you how to use your gifts and we will have Felix give you lessons in protecting yourself since I'm sure the Cullen's never let you practice any self-defense, am I correct?" she shook her head no in answer to his question. "Until that time I am going to assign Demetri as your own personal guard per say, he will accompany you when you hunt until we know you can defend yourself if necessary. Did you have any luggage we needed to retrieve?"

"No, I have the only personal belongings I wanted, my luggage went on to Sicily, I will call the airlines and make arrangements to have it delivered and I should probably call Edward and have him send me the rest of my things"

"That won't be necessary, I will have Heidi come to see you and you two can purchase you a new wardrobe, as part of my guard you will be required to wear the uniform cloak, it identifies who you are to those who need to know, of course if you are not in an official capacity you do not need to wear it. It is mainly worn in the throne room where we tend to keep things formal. If you are happy with your room it can be yours permanently or would you prefer another?"

"Oh no, it is perfect. Thank you so much for your generosity. I promise I will do my best to master my gift and serve you. You will not regret your decision."

"That I am sure of Isabella" he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I am now going to formally introduce you to Demetri, he will be escorting you around for the next few days until you learn your way. He can answer any questions you may have and will help you to adjust to life in Voltura. Get to know him Bella, I believe you two will get along well, maybe in time he may even be able to help you find the passion you so eagerly seek" she groaned and put her face in her hands again while mumbling how thankful she was she could no longer blush, hearing her he started laughing again as he led her to Demetri. "I am truly going to enjoy your presence here Bella, I have laughed more in the last thirty minutes than I have in the last thirty years."

Bella appraised the vampire they were walking towards and she had to admit he was very handsome but she wasn't ready for that yet, she was still in love with Jake and even in her own screwed up way with Edward, was Aro playing matchmaker, she smiled inwardly at the thought, he really was trying to give her everything she asked for. They reached Demetri and Renata.

"Bella, may I present Renata and Demetri." Renata bowed her head as she took her place next to Aro, "Demetri I have informed Bella of our earlier discussion, please see to it that she is made welcome and wants for nothing." He turned to me and winked making me cover my face once again causing him to chuckle, good lord did this replace my blushing, "Bella dear I have business to attend to, if you have need of me just let Demetri know, I will call on you tomorrow to start working on that amazing gift of yours" He placed my hand in Demetri's and walked away, Renata close on his heels.

"Bella, it is a pleasure to finally meet you" he gently brought her hand to his lips, she looked into his blood red eyes and shivered, this would definitely take some getting used to.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, I hope I will not be putting you out, I will try to learn my way quickly." He smiled and she was surprised when the smile reached his eyes, making him even more handsome, red eyes and all.

"You will not be putting me out, I approached Aro before your meeting and asked if I could be the one to help you should you choose to stay." she looked at him confused.

"Why would you do that? How did you even know what I was here for?" He placed her hand in his elbow as he led her to a bench to sit down.

"I didn't know, I only hoped. As for why, I have to be honest but I don't want to frighten you either, the truth is ever since the day you came here as a human I have been intrigued by you, human Bella caught my attention with her bravery and compassion, willing to give her life to save what most people would consider an abomination, and then you returned as vampire Bella and I was fascinated and truly smitten, I didn't think it was possible for you to become even more beautiful, but you are." He lowered his head shyly, how could she compel this reaction from a vampire who was hundreds of years old.

"I am not that special believe me, but thank you for the compliment"

"Is there anything you would like to do? Do you want me to get Heidi so you can get your wardrobe settled or are you thirsty, would you prefer to hunt, there are several herds of deer outside the walls?" she froze, how did he now that.

"How did you know about that, I only just requested to be able to continue my diet" then she remembered about the whole passion conversation and groaned, "You heard it all didn't you?" she resorted to her newest quirk and her face went straight into her hands. He chuckled lightly while he moved her hands from her face and gently guided her chin so she was looking at him.

"I'm sorry but being a tracker all of my senses are a lot better than most vampires, Renata didn't hear a thing but yes I did hear the whole conversation, I tried to distract myself but I'm afraid it didn't work very well since I am very interested in everything about you. Like Aro said Bella I am here for you, and I will make sure you want for nothing if it in my power to give it to you." The backs of his fingers gently ran down her alabaster cheek, his next words were a whisper, "And when you are ready, if it is passion you desire I can promise I **will** always be interested and completely willing to do your bidding" she felt another shiver run through her and this time it had nothing to do with fear.


	8. Chapter 7

**I am going to change the rating to M just to be on the safe side. Thank you all for taking the time to read this, remember it isn't beta'd and SM owns it all. **

Chapter 7

The next few weeks flew by. Bella had been working daily with Aro harnessing her shield. Now that she could access it at will her next step was to project it over another person protecting them. This was harder for her to do but Aro was very patient, after all they had nothing but time. Felix on the other hand was much more persistent with his training, he was brutal and relentless placing her in situation after situation of having to defend herself, he was impressed that she was a quick learner but that only made him push her harder. She loved that he never treated her like something breakable. He knew she was important to Aro and would not let up until he knew she would be able to protect herself no matter the situation.

She had also become fast friends with Heidi. When Demetri introduced them to each other she was ecstatic to have someone to take shopping, Bella cringed thinking her to be another Alice but her love of shopping is where the similarities ended, she let Bella pick what she wanted only making suggestions, this in turn encouraged her to want to try different things and the end result was a very well rounded wardrobe.

Heidi also liked going out into the town at night, she loved the human interaction and not just as a means for getting lunch. They would spend the whole night dancing and flirting with the local men and tourists, well Heidi flirted while Bella struggled to keep up with the conversation, her Italian, while improving daily was still at an elementary level. When the men would get a little too rowdy or pushy Demetri was always right there to rescue her.

Demetri. That was the one relationship that she did not expect. He was very charming and true to his word never left her side, but unlike Edward he wasn't pushy or overbearing, he was there because both of them wanted him there. When she needed her space he gave it to her without question. She had discovered they had many things in common, most especially their love of art. They spent hours talking about everything from their human lives to American football, which he loved and she never could understand. After numerous failed attempts to explain it he jokingly gave up calling her hopeless. The whole "Passion" topic never came up again but she knew he was just being patient. He had eternity after all.

With freedom Bella blossomed. Her exuberance, innocence and newfound appreciation for life were infectious and she was soon the darling of the guard. Caius ignored her and made no secret of his favoritism towards Jane but Aro and Marcus were captivated by her charm and even Sulpica took her under her wing, guiding and molding her like she would a child. Bella thrived from her attention since her own mother had been the child in their relationship and Sulpica was happy for a second chance. She thought when Aro turned Jane that she would get her chance to have a daughter but she was not as receptive to being coddled as Bella was, Jane always had an ulterior motive and most were afraid of her, this may have also been a reason for the guard to embrace Bella and her gift, she would be able to protect them from Jane and her tantrums which usually ended up with an innocent bystander on the ground writhing in pain.

Jane was the only person who resented Bella's presence, not only did she lose her position as Aros' favorite but she had also lost Demetri. There had never been anything between them, but of course that didn't stop her from falling in love with him, centuries earlier she confessed her feelings and his response was not expected, he told her he was flattered but he would never see her as anything but a child. From that point on any woman he got involved with she would find and torture until they promised to never see him again, but with Bella that was impossible and she had to sit by and watch him fall more and more in love with her every day even though she didn't feel the same way. But Jane wasn't stupid, she knew it was only a matter of time until she returned his feelings since they were literally always together.

Overall life in Volterra was good, the only exception was their choice of food. Bella kept any comments and her opinions to herself and Aro always excused her before the innocent walking happy meals were led into the room, she would go as far as she could to get away from the screams. Several times Demetri took her hunting to get her away but even he had to eat. The first time he had accompanied her was embarrassing at best. She was self-conscious knowing she was different but he gave her space and let her hunt keeping a safe distance away but still close enough to get to her quickly if needed. After she had drained two deer she joined him and he started to chuckle.

"Ah my Bella, look at you, you look like the naughty toddler who got into the Christmas plum pudding" He lifted her blood covered fingers and placed them into his mouth gently sucking them clean while turning her insides into mush, "It's not bad if one was starving but I am sorry it is not for me, I do have to admit though I love the effect animal blood has on your eyes. Maybe next time we should bring you a bib." He started laughing and she just rolled her eyes at his teasing as he drew her into a hug, "how about I teach you how to drain your prey without wasting most of it and spilling it all over your clothes?" she nodded as he led her home.

After she had been with the Volturi about two months she was summoned to Aro and Supica's private apartments. Demetri escorted her and once there turned to leave, she grabbed his arm stopping him. "Where are you going?" he kissed her knuckles and smiled.

"I was not summoned you were, don't worry, you will be fine. I will be back to escort you back to your room unless you can find your own way?"

"No! I mean I can find my way but I want you to come back, or did you have other things to do I don't want to keep you?"

"No, I will be here, go now, you don't want to keep them waiting", he gently pushed her towards the door and walked away, she knocked softly and entered when she was told to. "Ah here is my Bella, come sit with me dear and keep me company, I have barely seen you these last few days. What has been occupying your time, a handsome young man perhaps?" Sulpica patted the seat next to her and she immediately sat down.

"I have missed you too and what handsome young man would you be referring to?" Bella teased.

"I think you know, but I did not call you here to gossip, at least not yet. Aro has some news and I wanted to be here in case you needed my support, he will be here in a moment, he is finishing up a phone call. So how is Demetri, he has also been mysteriously absent the last few days"

"He took me on a trip to Rome but of course you knew that, I have never seen such architectural wonders, oh to be able to live in that time and see the city in its prime"

"Well it was pretty but to be honest it wasn't one of my favorite periods, too much political strife, oh but the baths, the Roman baths were heavenly and the men, let me tell you Bella that was when men were real men" she was giggling like a teenager when Aro entered the room.

"And what do my favorite ladies find so amusing this evening?" he smiled as he kissed them both on the cheek, loving the laughter that Bella brought to his wife's eyes, replacing the sorrow from never having children of her own.

"Nothing Darling, just reminiscing about Rome, so did you get all of the information you needed?" Aro nodded at his wife and turned to Bella.

"Bella, I just got off the phone with my old friend Carlisle, it was one of many calls over the last few weeks and I am afraid he won't be put off any longer. They miss you my dear and want to see that you are well. They will be coming to visit as soon as arrangements can be made" She grabbed Sulpica's hand; panic filling her eyes as she looked between them.

"Do I have to leave? Are they coming to take me back to England? Have I displeased you in some way, if so I am so sorry, I will do better?" Aro quickly sat next to her taking up her free hand and patting it in attempts to calm her.

"No, No, No my dear Bella, they just want to visit. You have free will my dear, it will be your choice whether to stay or leave, but just so you know we want you to stay, you have brought joy to many of our lives and you yourself have also changed we will not let them take you if that is not what you want" Aro was a shrewd man, it was common knowledge Chelsea's gift would not work on Bella and he knew that by giving her all of his trust and the things she most desired he had earned her loyalty the old fashioned way but in the process the girl had also captured a piece of his old cold lifeless heart. She made most of his guard happy, especially his beloved Sulpica and for that alone she would always be cherished.

"Oh ok, then I am telling you now, I want to stay, please, I am finally happy with my life, they will only oppress me, keep me in their little Cullen bubble and I am afraid that is no longer an option for me, I love my independence and I love my new home and I especially love my new family." Aro inwardly gloated, he had succeeded and he knew the Cullen's were going to try to talk her into going back with them and that would only help his cause even more. He hadn't lied, if she wanted to leave he would let her but he made damn sure she wouldn't want to leave.

"Is a certain young man included in this new family you speak of" Sulpica loved to tease her Bella, her reactions were so full of humanity and completely addictive, she could only laugh as Bella put her face in her hands nodding her head yes. Aro nodded to Renata to send for Demetri and she discreetly left the room before he addressed Bella.

"I am glad. I thought you two would get along well, he has had a long and lonely life and you have made him happy, even if it is just as friends. Thank you for that Bella. Demetri has been like a son to me and the cause of his unhappiness is not his fault but the fault of others, ask him and maybe one day he will tell you his story, you will then understand him even more I expect" there was a soft knock on the door and Demetri walked in with Renata. "Ah Demetri, here you are, you could have stayed I did not mean for you to leave"

"My apologies, I did not know you wanted me to stay," he noticed both of them holding Bella's hands and his brow furrowed in concern, "Is something wrong?"

"No, not wrong, Bella just received some unwelcome news, perhaps you can escort her back to her quarters, I believe she is in need of a friend. I would escort her myself but I am going to take my beautiful wife for a walk through the village, we'll leave you young folks to find your own amusements" with that they both gave Bella a kiss on her cheek and he led Sulpica from the room.

"I love how he calls you young when you are over 1100 years old, what does that make me in the grand scheme of things, an embryo" He chuckled at her joke as he led her back to her room.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about?" she looked around nervously.

"I will tell you in a minute, too many ears in these walls. Have I thanked you for our trip to Rome? I had a wonderful time" He smiled down at her, his eyes full of adoration and something else she couldn't quite define.

"Yes, you have, and you are welcome. Here we are, lets get changed and spend the evening in, you look like you have a lot on your mind. I am going to go and get into something more comfortable and will be back in a minute." He kissed her cheek and was gone in a flash. Bella entered her apartment and hung up her cloak. She walked through the sitting room and realized she actually felt exhausted.

Deciding she needed a moment to herself she went to take a shower, she knew Demetri would let himself in so she took her time, letting the hot water wash away her stress. She got out, combed her hair, brushed her teeth, got dressed in a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top and made her way to the sitting room where Demetri was laying on the couch watching TV. She stood in the doorway watching him and couldn't help but smile, very few people got to see him like this, his black hair was messy, but in a sexy way and he was wearing a pair of grey sweats and a plain black t-shirt with white socks, he looked like a normal twenty-three year old chilling on the couch, not an 1100 year old vampire who has seen more in his life than she could possibly imagine, noticing her he lifted his red eyes to meet hers, red eyes that no longer bothered her but captivated her.

"What are you looking at?" he knew she had been watching him; sometimes his super senses were as bad as the wolves. That and her bodies increasing reactions to him lately had been the cause of her embarrassment on more than one occasion.

"You" she smiled and walked over to the couch, curling up against him as he wrapped her in his arms. This was normal for them, they had become very close and would often cuddle while watching a movie or even spend hours in her bed just holding each other in companionable silence.

"Are you going to tell me what Aro was talking about?" He started to comb his fingers through her hair, relaxing her even more.

"Yeah, but can we go to bed first, I feel like snuggling under the covers" he nodded and followed her into her room after locking up. It almost made him feel human when they did this and he couldn't remember a time in his 1100 years he'd been happier. Shutting her bedroom door he joined her in the bed pulling her up against him in their normal talking position while he continued to play with her hair.

"The Cullen's are coming to visit" she felt him stiffen and the hand in her hair stilled, "I guess they miss me and want to make sure I'm alright, I think they believe I'm being forced to stay here, if only they knew how wrong they were." he relaxed at her statement and his hand resumed its course.

"How do you feel about it, do you want to see them, see him?" she knew exactly who "him" was. They had spent hours talking about her and Edward's relationship, and her feelings for him. He believed in the beginning he was compelling her and now she was inclined to agree, she had always felt an unnatural pull to him. He told her the reason she was still able to have such strong feelings for Jacob and regret being turned was because her feelings for Edward were never real and after she turned and was no longer able to be compelled she realized he didn't mean as much to her as she thought and it only made her regret everything more since she hadn't done it for love.

"No, I really don't. I am finally happy. I know they are going to try to talk me into coming back, to manipulate me. They have always been able to, I'm scared I won't be able to tell them no." he moved them so she was lying under him and they were face to face looking into each others eyes.

"Bella, your not that person anymore. Your strong and independent and beautiful and confident, you have built a life here. You don't need to worry you will be able to stand up for yourself. Besides you can't leave yet, I still need to teach you all about "passion" remember?" he wiggled his eyebrows making her laugh.

"Oh really I wasn't aware you were giving me lessons, when exactly did they start?" he got unusually quiet and his eyes went to her lips, his tongue seductively ran over his own lips wetting them as he slowly lowered his head and right before their lips met he whispered, "right now."


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

His lips were warm and gentle and totally dominated the kiss, Bella could only wrap her arms around his neck and pull him closer and even then he still wasn't close enough. He started nibbling on her bottom lip and she gasped at the unfamiliar sensation, he took complete advantage of her parted lips and deepened the kiss. As his tongue explored her mouth she realized this is what she had been missing. Her first thought had been of Jake, not that she wanted him but that this was like the kiss he shared with her on the mountain. Demetri was putting all of his feelings into this kiss, holding nothing back and the feelings he evoked in her were phenomenal; she fought her clouding mind to try and describe to herself all she was feeling. Heat, Need, Want, Lust, Desire and yes Passion. She heard a wanton moan and was surprised when she realized it came from her. Slowly pulling away Demetri looked into her eyes and she was shocked to see his were solid black, not a trace of red left.

"Your eyes" she whispered as she cupped his cheek, he smiled at her obvious amazement.

"You do know yours look the same way right?" she looked at him confused, he was ecstatic that she wanted him as much as he wanted her but for the first time he thought to question just how experienced she was. "I'm not trying to kill the mood but can I ask you a question?"

"Anything, you know that" she nuzzled his neck content with the closeness of their bodies

"Before Edward what would you say your level of experience was?"

"Um…except for one wonderful kiss non-existent why?"

"So he was your first and you never experienced anything before your change?" she was placing light kisses on his neck, effectively distracting him.

"No, we were both virgins, we both had sex for the first time on our wedding night why?" she managed to do something that rarely happened, she shocked the hell out of him, he pulled away from her and sat up.

"What? How is that possible? He was a virgin? How? I mean he's at least what, a hundred years old? And he never…and he waited? Waited until after you were married and he changed you?" now he was the one confused, confused and shocked.

"No, I was still human…" rage rushed through his body and he was instantly across the room at vampire speed trying to control his anger, was Edward Cullen a fucking idiot?

"You were human, what was he thinking, what were you thinking? You could have been killed" just the thought made him want to run to England and rip Cullen's head off.

"But I wasn't, after the first time he refused to touch me, I woke up covered in bruises and he freaked out, I made him do it Demetri, he wanted to wait but it was a human experience I wanted to have. What does any of this have to do with us?" she was upset now, not ten minutes earlier she was in the middle of the best kiss of her immortal life and now they were discussing Edward, this was not how she wanted to spend her evening. He walked back and sat at the foot of her bed.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to judge how much experience you had and you kind of blew me away with that information." He ran his hand through his hair, not sure what to do next.

"What makes you think I'm not experienced?" He gave her a look as if to say are you for real?

"Bella, your shock at my eyes was the first thing that gave you away, they were black because I was sexually aroused, because I wanted you, it's a natural reaction, hell even human's pupils dilate when they're aroused."

"Oh…you looked like you wanted to eat me"

"That's just one of many things I want to do to you" he mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. So Edwards eyes never got like that when you were together?" now he was even more confused about her marriage than before.

"Um, I don't know I never looked, it was always dark because he kept the lights off. Look, I know my sexual relationship with him was well for lack of a better word odd; he would only make love to me once a week and even then I knew we were different. I never understood what all the excitement was about, I would hear Rosalie and Emmett and the sounds coming from their room were just, I don't know, but I always wondered what could make her scream so loud because I knew nothing we were doing ever made me scream" or even moan for that matter she thought to herself.

"Have you ever even experienced an orgasm?" she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, at least I think I did, he wasn't completely clueless, sex was just one of those things he didn't deem necessary, humans have sex to make babies and since we obviously can't make babies he didn't see the point. He always put me off when I was human using the excuse he could lose control and hurt or even kill me. I thought once I was turned we would be like the rest of the Cullen's but we weren't, he was raised believing sex was only for procreation and I guess those beliefs never changed."

Demetri's smile changed to a knowing smirk. What was the point? Oh he was going to show her what the point was all right, he didn't know if he should slap Cullen the next time he saw him or thank him. All he knew is Bella was going to be screaming his name again and again before the night was through. He pulled off his socks and then stood up lifting his shirt over his head, Bella stared at him, curious, her topaz eyes slowly turning deep obsidian as they raked down his chest.

"Demetri, w…wh…what are you doing?" She was nervous, he looked like a predator about to attack, and she was his prey.

"I'm going to show you Bella. I'm going to show you what the point is, and I promise before this night is over not only will you know that sex isn't just for making babies, but you will understand what Rosalie was screaming about. In fact I guarantee you will be screaming my name before I'm finished with you." He pulled off the remainder of his clothes and stood naked and proud before her, she let her gaze take in the complete picture and couldn't help but be impressed, he definitely wasn't Edward and for some reason she felt like this was her first time all over again. He crawled into the bed and pulled her into his arms for a scorching kiss, a kiss that immediately replaced her nervousness with raw desire.

He spent what seemed like hours just kissing her while his hands slowly roamed over her body leaving a trail of heat in their wake. She wasn't sure when it happened but she realized she was in nothing but her panties and he didn't seem in any hurry to remove them. His kisses soon moved from her lips to her jaw to her shoulder and finally to her breasts. She watched in awe as he suckled one pink nipple until it became so hard she thought she would die from the sensation. The feelings he was creating in her lower belly just from nipping and sucking her breasts was more than Edward had ever made her feel, he had never even paid attention to her breasts except for a random squeeze and she never knew they could be so sensitive. She couldn't get enough, she began moaning and writhing beneath him making him chuckle.

"Demetri, what are you doing to me?"

"I'm making love to you Bella"

"But…but…"

"Just feel. This is what it's all about. Me making you feel good, making each other feel good, just let go Bella, just let go and feel."

He brought his lips back to hers as he ground his erection into her core making her whimper and buck her hips, seeking more friction, god he was killing her, her senses were on overload.

"No Bella, not yet," he began kissing his way down her stomach, she had no clue what he was doing. When he reached her hips he put his fingers in the sides of her panties and pulled them down her legs. He looked over her naked form and once again thanked god that Cullen was such an idiot, she was perfection and he was going to enjoy exploring every inch of her. Picking up her leg he started kissing her calf making her giggle and cover her face, he wished now more than ever that she could still blush, he could only imagine how much more beautiful it would have made her if that was even possible. He looked into her shocked eyes as he reached the apex of her thighs.

"Now what are you doing, shouldn't we just you know do it?" She had never been more confused or turned on in her life. Edward had never paid this much attention to her body and she felt like she was going to explode, every touch only making her hotter. She needed something but she didn't know what, she couldn't explain it.

"No, not yet there is so much more for you to experience. Watch me Bella." with those words much to her surprise he began to assault her core with not only his tongue but his fingers as well, within seconds she felt herself starting to lose control, she was so close but to what she could only imagine, with two more flicks of his tongue and a little curve of his fingers she came screaming his name, the force of her release making her body convulse. She almost started crying from the tidal wave of pleasure that surged through her body and the emotions that followed it. When she finally came back to earth he was leaning over her with a very satisfied smile on his face.

"Are you ok?" he chuckled; he knew she was more than ok.

"Uh-huh, oh my god I never felt anything so…so… thank you Demetri, I…I…"

"Hold that thought and hang on sweetheart, the night's not over yet" with one smooth stroke he thrust into her, filling her in a way she had never been before. He continued to pound into her over and over. She lost count of how many times she came throughout the night. As promised she screamed his name and he was right she finally understood better than she ever thought possible. Sometime around dawn they lay wrapped in each other's arms just holding each other, both lost in their own thoughts but completely happy and satisfied.

"Who would have thought that you would be such a sex kitten, I'm going to start calling you Gattina, my little kitten." She giggled at the nickname.

"You know, it's times like these that I miss sleep the most," he whispered

"Why?"

"Well when your human a night of lovemaking would usually end with falling asleep in each others arms, and even better waking up the same way. It just makes it more intimate somehow."

"Well, since we don't need to sleep can't we just keep doing it?" she covered her face with her hands, embarrassed because she never wanted him to stop touching her.

"Hey, don't hide your beautiful face from me Gattina and yes we can. You, Isabella Volturi are insatiable. I do believe I've created a monster." He pulled her into his arms and proceeded to show her just how much he loved this new side of her.

They made love throughout the day and well past midnight the next night, neither of them had any concept of time, just each other. Bella wondered how long they would have stayed in their own little world if Heidi pounding on her door had not interrupted them. Demetri begrudgingly threw on his sweats and opened the door allowing her to zip into the apartment and straight into the bedroom closet. He followed her to see what was going on.

"Not that I'm not ecstatic that you two finally gave in to all of that sexual tension that's been building over the last two months but Bella we have an emergency and I need your cooperation" Bella was sitting up in her bed holding the sheet to her chest looking confused and like she had just been thoroughly fucked, her hair was everywhere, her eyes were glossy and she had a permanent smile on her face, It was all Demetri could do to not throw Heidi out and make love to her again.

"Heidi, what's going on?" She giggled, she had never been happier.

"Well, as much as I hate to be the bearer of bad news they will be here in the morning and I for one want you to look absolutely fabulous, I will not have that Pixie Fashionista making me look bad if you get my drift, so come on and help me pick out something for you to wear," even the mention of the Cullen's couldn't put a damper on Bella's mood. All she could think about was Demetri and the last day and a half they spent in bed together, she kept looking at him wanting nothing more than to kick Heidi out herself.

"I don't care you can pick it out" just pick it out fast and leave she thought to herself.

"What? Really? What's the catch?" Heidi knew Bella hated to play dress up, one look between the two of them and she realized she wasn't going to get anywhere right now. "You know what, never mind, I'll be back in the morning, you two work on getting this out of you system, I think I'm going to go find Felix, I'll let myself out" and she was gone, thank god for vampire speed.

"Felix?" Bella asked as Demetri started walking back to the bed taking his sweats off, she was surprised to see he was already ready for her.

"Yeah, they've had a thing going for the last five hundred years or so but enough about them. I need you Bella. Now."

"I can see that, I'm all yours Demetri, come and get me" and he did.

Nine hours later Bella found herself in the shower while Heidi searched for the perfect outfit. Demetri had finally went to his own apartment to get himself cleaned up and dressed, they were going to take a shower together but Heidi kicked him out saying they would never leave the room if that happened. After hair and make-up, which was light setting off her natural beauty, Heidi put her in a grey-scooped neck sweater dress with a pair of 3" knee high black suede boots, her Volturi crest necklace her only jewelry.

"You look beautiful and thanks to Demetri you are glowing. How do you feel?"

"Happy, Scared, Nervous but most of all I just want this over with so I can go on with my life."

"You mean so you can go back to bed?" Heidi started laughing as Bella put her hands over her face shaking her head.

"God, am I that obvious?"

"No, well not really, like I said your glowing and everyone here will know why but don't worry about it with the exception of Jane everyone one is happy for you and Demetri, especially Aro."

"Jane? Why would she care who I had sex with, or about me at all. She hates me."

"Oh, you don't know? Shit, I thought he would have told you."

"Demetri was with Jane?" Now Bella felt stupid, she knew he was far from a virgin but for some reason the thought of him with anyone but some nameless faceless woman really upset her.

"NO! Oh god no, she wishes. She has always had a thing for him but he's never been interested, she has just caused him a lot of problems, let him tell you later, believe me Bella, he has eyes for no one but you and its been that way for some time now."

"Really? I sometimes wonder what he sees in me, I can't help it I love being with him, he's amazing, and that was before the sex and now, well lets just say he owns me, there's really nothing I wouldn't do for him. He's the total package and then some but most importantly he makes me happy." they both started laughing.

"I own you huh, if I realized all I had to do to make you mine was make love to you I would have seduced you weeks ago? " He took her hands in his before she could cover her face in embarrassmentat being caught talkign about him, they never heard him come in, "You look beautiful Bella, se tutto per me, Il mio cuore è solo tua" He gave her a passionate kiss and she found herself lost once again in nothing but Demetri. Before he pulled away he whispered in her ear, "lets get this over with so we can pick up where we left off Gattina" she shuddered in anticipation.

"This is going to be interesting" Heidi was laughing as they made their way to the door.

"Why do you say that?" Bella asked as she fastened her cloak.

"Bella honey have you forgotten Eddie boy out there reads minds, I can just imagine what he's going to see in Demetri's head, might be a good time to practice that shield of yours.

"Oh crap, I forgot about that. Well maybe this is a good thing, he will see how happy I am and not just have to take my word for it, I don't want to hurt him but I also want him to realize I've moved on"

"Don't worry Bella, we will get through this. I promise. Now come on they have been waiting long enough and we don't want to upset Aro." Bella took his hand as he led her to the throne room.

"Demetri, don't leave me."

"Don't worry Gattina, I won't" He gave her one last kiss before nodding to Heidi who opened the doors and led them into the room.

_**A/N**_

_**The english translation of se tutto per me, Il mio cuore è solo tua is you are everything to me, my heart is yours**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**Sorry for the late update. Between invading relatives, boycotting FF for the bs their pulling with M rated stories and my muse running off to a tropical island to sip Mai Tai's without me its been a rough few weeks. As always its not mine, I'm just having my wicked way with Stefanie Meyers characters.**_

Chapter 9

"What's taking so long, we've been waiting for hours?" Edward was pacing, unable to contain his frustration. They had arrived early this morning and were immediately shown to a guest room until they would be summoned and no one said a word or gave them any indication of when that would be. He just wanted to get Bella and take her home. She had been here for well over two months and he was done with her little tantrum, he gave her time and now it was time for them to move on with their lives.

"Edward, you need to calm down. Remember we are here as guests. I don't know what is taking so long but we will find out soon enough. You need to prepare for the possibility that she doesn't want to return with us. Aro has assured me she is here of her own free will and very happy with her life now."

"She is my wife Carlisle, this is not a matter for discussion, she belongs with me, if she wants to stay its because they are forcing her to, you know about Chelsea's gift they must have done something to her." He continued his pacing and stopped only to look at his sister, "Alice, please?" she just shook her head.

"I already told you we shouldn't have come but you refused to listen. I won't look anymore I…I just can't, I'm sorry." In the beginning Alice kept a constant vigil on Bella's future, every time she got a vision it just hurt her more and more, she saw Bella growing closer to everyone in the Guard, especially Demetri. The final straw was when Bella decided to invite Heidi to go shopping, it wasn't a big deal but it hurt Alice more than she cared to admit, that was the day she stopped looking for Bella's future.

Edward just glared at her and continued his pacing; he was so deep in thought on what he was going to say to Bella he didn't hear the knock on the door. "Edward, its time, Aro wants to see us now," He looked at Carlisle and nodded.

"It's about time." The Cullen's with the exception of Rosalie and Emmett who chose to stay in England all filed out of the room and followed the person who delivered the summons, Edward read his mind hoping to get some answers but all he thought about was when he was getting his next meal, making it obvious he was not part of the guard. They entered the throne room and his eyes immediately scanned the faces looking for Bella, when he couldn't find her the last of his patience snapped.

"Aro, where is my wife, this has gone on long enough, she belongs with me and I've come to take her home" he couldn't ignore the hisses that sounded throughout the room, all of a sudden everyone's mind was filled with the same thought, Bella wasn't going anywhere, there were only two exceptions, Caius who could care less and Jane who couldn't contain her hatred for his wife and wanted her to leave.

"Carlisle, it seems young Mr. Cullen has forgotten his manners, perhaps you should remind him exactly where he is an who's presence he is in." Edward quickly bowed his head; a change in tactics was obviously necessary.

"I apologize for my rudeness Aro, I have been distraught without my mate and I am eager to see her." Aro stood up and walked to him, taking his hand and looking in his eyes, he gave nothing away as he searched through his memories and realized his Bella had been keeping secrets of her own, but he would discuss that with her later, it was something he would keep between them. He released his hand and muttered "passion indeed" causing his wife and several members of the guard to chuckle.

Confused, Edward questioned him. "I don't understand?"

"No Edward, that much is blatantly obvious, but neither here nor there, especially now." Edward couldn't help but notice the arrogant smirk that crossed his face before he caught himself and resumed his poker face, "I am sorry you have been distraught, but Bella came here of her own free will, she is free to leave whenever she chooses and she knows this. I can guarantee we have done nothing out of the ordinary to win her favor, Chelsea's gift does not work on Bella any more than Jane's does, she is a mental shield but then again I'm sure you and your family already knew that" Carlisle stepped up to answer Aro's unspoken question.

"We assumed she had a gift but had yet to explore it, we were giving her time to adapt to this life, we didn't want her overwhelmed"

"And there in lies the problem my old friend, Bella is her own person, she is fully capable of making her own decisions and knowing what she can or cannot handle, she is not breakable, and I mean that quite literally. I'll have you know she has become a personal student of Felix in hand-to-hand combat and has excelled beyond all of our expectations. She refused to partake in our diet, was quite adamant in fact, she hunts outside the walls on a regular basis and sometimes I have special game brought in just for her. She makes her own decisions."

"YOU LET HER ROAM AROUND UNATTENDED, SHE COULD HAVE BEEN HURT?" all Edward could think about is how she could have been injured or even worse even killed.

"Mr. Cullen this is the last warning I will give you, your outbursts are becoming tedious. No, she does not roam unattended, she has her own guard when she hunts but he only accompanies her because she wishes it and desires his company not because she cannot take care of herself. You all fail to understand this is the reason she left you, you coddled her, or better yet in her words smothered her, she was treated like a child, deemed incapable of making her own decisions. Since she has joined my guard she has blossomed, I am personally working with her on her gift; she has many friends and has even developed several close relationships, which include my wife and I. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her." He paused for a minute before continuing.

"She has expressed her desire to stay. I know you have read it in my mind Edward and seen her request and yet you still plan on encouraging her to return with you, you may try and if you succeed she is free to leave, but know this I will kill every single one of you myself before I let you take her against her will, is that understood?"

Edward was speechless, he didn't know what to expect now so he just nodded his head and tried to gather his thoughts. All of a sudden a door to the left opened and laughter filled the room as Heidi entered followed by Demetri and last of all his Bella. He couldn't believe the changes in her. He looked her over from head to toe she was breathtaking. She was beautiful and confident, she was glowing and her eyes were filled with happiness. And then he noticed her hand in Demetri's. When he really looked again he couldn't help but notice the way her and Demetri were looking at each other as they walked across the room, he tried to pinpoint his thoughts but failed, the voices in his head were overwhelming, it seemed Bella had wormed her way into almost everyone's heart.

The Cullen's watched in shock as Bella and Demetri took their normal places next to Aro and Sulpica, it was a position of honor. Only Renata was normally allowed that close. Aro kissed her cheek before handing her over to his wife, Sulpica immediately pulled Bella into a hug, asked her why she was glowing and laughed when Bella covered her face with her hands and turned into Demetri's chest, his arms instantly went around her while he whispered in her ear making her giggle. Edward was enchanted and furious all at once.

"Demetri, I kindly ask you to remove your hands from my wife and I will only ask nicely once, your behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated. Aro how can you allow this knowing she is married and belongs to another?" Heidi started to laugh, thinking to herself if a simple hug was "inappropriate" how would he define everything else Demetri had done to Bella, her thoughts only fueled his anger more. He glared at her, growling and she immediately thought of something else as Felix stepped in front of her doing some growling of his own.

"Edward, what part of me telling you that Bella makes her own decisions did you not understand? Isabella has chosen to take Volturi as her surname, therefore she belongs to no one but herself and who she allows to touch her is quite frankly no one's business but her own"

"SHE IS MY WIFE! SHE CAN'T JUST CHANGE HER NAME AND MAKE THAT GO AWAY!" Noticing Edwards anger was becoming volatile Demetri took a couple of steps forward pushing Bella behind him, he knew she could take care of herself but he couldn't help himself, Edward was a threat in more ways than one. The rest of the Cullen's seemed to be in shock. They were unable to accept the reality of the situation, that Bella was no longer theirs.

"You need to calm down Cullen or I won't let you anywhere near her" his voice was low but menacing. Bella couldn't seem to find her voice or her courage, she held onto Demetri's hand like a lifeline, everything about this situation was wrong and she didn't want to be there. She knew she was stronger than this but they had been such an intimidating force in her life for so long she couldn't help but revert to the girl she once was, at that moment she hated them for being able to make her feel so weak.

"You won't let me? I thought she made her own decisions, apparently that includes deciding to bed the entire guard" Aro sat back and watched the show letting Edward dig himself deeper and deeper into a hole. Any chance he had at winning Bella's affection and convincing her of returning to England had been sufficiently killed with his insults and obsessive need to treat her like a possession not a person.

"You better watch your tone Cullen, you will not speak about her like that and let me assure you, she is not bedding the entire guard" he let his mind fill with all the thoughts he had been working so hard to keep to himself, images of his time with Bella filled his mind, him bringing her to the ultimate pleasure over and over again, her screaming out his name. He gave Edward a cocky smirk before whispering "Just me!"

Edward roared and launched himself at Demetri, the sound of rocks colliding brought Bella out of her stupor, she'd never wanted to see them again and here they were trying to force themselves back into her life, Edward had shown a side of himself she had never seen, he truly thought of her as a possession, she was happy, confident and now he was once again making her feel inadequate, like she had been wrong, a petulant child who needed to be punished. How did he do it, how did he make her feel so insignificant? She was about to stop their fighting when Demetri fell to the ground writhing in pain, her gaze immediately flew to Jane who seemed to be getting entirely too much pleasure from torturing him.

Without thinking Bella projected her shield to Demetri effectively stopping Jane's assault much to the surprise of everyone in the room, well everyone but Aro who just smiled at her like a proud father. "ENOUGH!" She screamed. The entire room was silent as she went to him making sure he was ok. Helping him up she wrapped her arms around him, drawing strength from him as he whispered words of love and assurances that he was fine in her ear. When she was sure he could stand on his own she laced her fingers in his and turned to face Jane who flinched when she saw the anger in Bella's eyes.

"Your days of throwing tantrums are over little girl, you abuse your gift at every turn and I will not allow it any longer, I don't care if I have to walk around shielding every member of this guard for the rest of eternity. I understand you hate me and to be honest I really don't give a shit, but you will not hurt those I care about is that clear? And if you ever use your gift on Demetri again I swear I will rip you apart and burn the pieces, I don't care how important you are to Aro, when I get done you will be nothing but ash." She had finally found her strength. She turned to Edward.

"And you, who in the fuck do you think you are?" he gasped at her language and immediately tried to correct her.

"Bella love that language really isn't…"

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me Edward. I am no longer your wife, Edward Cullen was married to Isabella Cullen, they both died remember? Isabella Swan Cullen is DEAD. You saw to that without my consent. And while I understand the need to fake our deaths for my human families benefit you never even gave me the chance to say goodbye. You don't love me; I am nothing to you but a possession, a toy. When I was human I was nothing but a pet, to all of you" she pointed at the rest of his family, "I was never a part of your family, an equal. I was a prisoner in my own home. But that's changed, I am Isabella Marie Volturi now, I am strong and confident and I can take care of myself. You brought me into this world but I will choose how I want to live in it. This is my home, this is my family and this is where I'm staying."

Some of the steam was running out of her, she noticed the hurt looks on the rest of the Cullen's faces. Carlisle, Esme and Jasper had never been anything but kind to her and didn't deserve this. Letting go of Demetri's hand she walked to Carlisle and Esme.

"I would like nothing more that to have you in my life, but it will have to be on my terms. I need to be my own person, I am truly happy here. I thank you for all you have done for me and my family in the past but my future is in Volterra, please understand." Esme wrapped Bella in her arms.

"I am so sorry Bella and I do understand, we want you in our life and we will accept whatever terms you set. We do love you, I am sorry I didn't realize how unhappy you were, I just wish I would have before you left us." She looked to Alice and Jasper who seemed unsure, she would give them time. She walked back to Edward.

"I'm sorry Edward but whatever we had, if it was ever even real is gone, I am willing to be your friend if you'd like, but nothing more. I'll leave that up to you." She was suddenly emotionally exhausted and wanted nothing more than to take Demetri to her apartment and make love to him. She needed to be close to him so he could make all the hurt and self doubt of the last hour go away. As they took their place next to Aro he took her hand and rubbed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"I am very proud of you Isabella, you have done well today. You finally let go enough to harness the rest of your gift but even more important you have finally stood up for yourself" he kissed her forehead before turning to face the Cullen's. He just wanted them gone so they could go on with their lives but he knew it wasn't going to be that easy. "Carlisle old friend, it seems no further proof is needed of Bella's welfare, as you can see she is not only well but has decided to stay and of her own free will, I know she is important to you and you would like to spend some more time with her so allow me to extend an open invitation to you and your family to stay in Volterra as long as you please." Bella gaped at Aro, why was he doing this? She just wanted them gone, but she would not question him, she knew he had his reasons.

"We would appreciate that Aro and would love to take you up on your hospitality, thank you." Carlisle knew his family was going to need a few days to come to grips with Bella's decision, staying would give them the opportunity to make amends and hopefully leave on a good note.

"Edward NO! You can't do this, please?" Alice's outburst brought everyone's attention to Edward.

"Edward, is there something I can do for you?" Aro knew what was coming; he had seen it.

"Yes Aro, I want to stay and become a member of your guard."


End file.
